I ripped this off from Unearthed Arcana, the Advanced D&D manual TSR published sometime around 1985. It's the story the game's authors made up for the orc religion.
Four games today kick off the 2013-2014 college football bowl season. Another 31 will be played by Jan. 6. Which ones are the best? Which ones are the worst? Here's a viewer's guide.
1. Getting hit in the dick with a claw hammer.
My brother just pointed this out to me, after a conversation we had today about the 1978 parody Hardware Wars which, like most of our discussions, arose truly apropos of nothing. The Star Wars sendup makes a subtle nod to George Lucas' earliest work, with a kind of visual Easter egg reference that one would expect…
This is a pre-emptive warning to my alma mater: Don't you ever fucking put No. 44 on any men's basketball player, for any reason, ever. I'm saying this because I know the thought will cross your mind and some point in the future, but I am ordering you: Do not fucking do this.
It's been more than three years, I figure the mainstays and the longtime readers of the Kotaku 'Shop Contest deserve some kind of explanation for how I judge things.
New 'Shop Contest entries begin above this arrow. Exploitables and instructions are here: http://kotaku.com/5937955/kotaku-shop-contest-assassins-cross+breed/gallery/1
Exploitables and rules here: http://kotaku.com/5936024/kotaku-shop-contest-raising-excitement/gallery/1
This week's 'Shop Contest submissions begin above this arrow.
This week's submissions begin above this error (plus DCeric's below it)
Submissions for the 'Shop Contest for the week of July 30 begin above this arrow.
Here is the base image for this week's 'Shop Contest. The guidelines are here: http://kotaku.com/5928018/sexy-mario-anyone
Submissions for the July 22 'Shop Contest begin above this arrow.
Submissions for the 'Shop Contest for Sunday, July 15 begin above this arrow.
Hi de ho!
I have staffed Kotaku's weekend report by myself since 2008 and I'm the site's resident sports expert. In addition to many other subjects I regularly write about sports video games in my column Stick Jockey and I appear bi-weekly on the Press Row Podcast with the leading figures of sports video game writing.