It's been more than three years, I figure the mainstays and the longtime readers of the Kotaku 'Shop Contest deserve some kind of explanation for how I judge things.
1. Is it funny?
2. If not, are there a bunch of commenters who think it's funny?
3. Do I get the joke?
4. If not, are there a bunch of commenters who do?
5. If I don't get the joke, and there aren't a lot of commenters who do, does it look like I would be a total jackass if I admitted that I did not get the joke?
6. Is it by arniejolt, uscg_pa, toolsoldier, HampstaSandwich, sciteach, GiantBoyDetective, Rokeden or Orionsangel/saint?
7. Do we have fewer than 10 finalists?
8. Did I (be honest) give everyone a shitty exploitable or topic this week?
Note: These do not by themselves disqualify any work that passes one or more of the conditions above. These are factors that reduce scoring, like failing to nail a triple-toe-loop in the L'eggs Figure Skating Championships.
1. Is there a lot of text in the 'Shop, or does it require a comment to explain?
2. Does it feature Asshole Dog?
3. Does it feature Bad Dudes?
4. Does it feature me in the bagsuit?